The Conviction of a Leader

Leadership isn’t keeping everyone happy, but we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that if no one is uncomfortable, we must be doing something right.

That isn’t leadership. That’s just survival.

After a few years working primarily in the online space with coaches in various industries, I started noticing a pattern. Everyone is a “thought leader.” Everyone is “in their leadership.” Everyone claims to live and breathe LEADERSHIP.

But a real leader doesn’t need to actually tell you that they're a leader, now do they?

Leadership shows up in decisions, in their standards, in what you're willing to hold when things get uncomfortable.

It shows up in your ability to actually lead in a way that shows integrity. In a way that shows you're a human who loves other humans.

A leader is someone who can sit in the tension of being misunderstood and still move forward. Someone who can disappoint people in the short term to do what’s right in the long term. Someone who understands that clarity is more valuable than consensus.

Real leadership creates friction. This doesn't happen because it’s careless, but because it’s honest. It's real. It's authentic.

It challenges assumptions.
It disrupts comfort.
It asks better questions instead of offering prettier answers.

And rather you like it or not...

If you’re leading, someone will be unhappy.
If you’re visible, someone will disagree.
If you’re making real decisions, someone will feel left behind.

Every. Single. Time.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
It usually means you’re doing it right.

Leadership isn’t about being liked. It’s about being trusted.
And trust isn’t built by saying what everyone wants to hear. Trust is built by saying what needs to be said and standing by it. Even when many turn against you.

That's why I only work with certain types of people, people who are ready for that lime lite. The high-performing professionals stepping into more visible roles are going to be hit with a push to soften their edges when they enter the online space.

Attorneys. Executives. Public figures. Founders. People who are used to being respected in the rooms they walk into will suddenly be pressured to be more "likeable" because the world is watching.

But leadership doesn’t change because the room gets bigger, the stakes just get higher.

And if your online presence only reflects the parts of you that are palatable, agreeable, or safe, it will never reflect your real authority.

Visibility doesn’t require perfection but it does most certainly require conviction.

Conviction in every stance you take, because people will rip you apart for it. No matter how good of a human you are and how good you are at what you do.

But having that conviction will always keep you moving.

Stop trying to be comfortable if you want to lead anything. You have a responsibility to step outside of that comfort zone and create the ripple of change you speak so fondly about.

Stop telling people you're a thought leader, show them.